Stress, Harassment, and Bullying in Cyberspace

    Good evening, and welcome back! So today we're going to cover stress, harassment, and bullying when it comes to the digital space. This is a major topic for today's educators, especially those who are digital immigrants and struggle to understand these problems from the perspective of the digital natives they teach. 

    Some of the more prevalent thought and chatter has blamed cell phones and other technology for heightened levels of stress and bullying, particularly in students. The popular thought would say, if we don't know what they're doing, they're getting into trouble. While there may be some merit to that, the issue is far more complex than "just turn it off". For instance, digital natives have naturally adapted communication styles that align with faster-paced online presence. The idea of limiting online "screen time" is not actually beneficial to adolescents in any way other than limiting access to them. (source) On the other hand, fostering relationships with them that include plugging into their lives, knowing where they are and what's going on, tends to lower the accounts of harassing behavior significantly(source), perhaps because these children are more confident and feel they have a support network that fosters their self-identity. 

    The instance of online harassment or bullying has a correlation, however, and that is with in-person aggression. Accounts of aggressive social experiences are twice as common as online. (source) This is not to say that the experiences aren't different - cyberbullying is, perhaps, more damaging in its way due to the access of constant internet. It can feel more oppressive if there is no "Safe space" from the bullying behaviors, and possibly cause higher levels of anxiety. This is where the parental involvement comes in. Many teenagers are still experiencing pre-conventional morality by Kohlberg's scale, which can result in lacking the empathy to understand the harmful and aggressive behaviors they're engaging in. Parental modeling and guidance in a gentle and supportive way can help them both grow their empathy skills and find confidence in their self-identity to discard, disengage, and de-escalate aggressive behaviors. 

    It is important to note here that addressing these concerns is more than a digital issue - it's an encompassing one that has stumped educators and parents for decades. The older generations can feel as though bullying "toughens kids up" or "makes them stronger" (source) but teen suicide rates have continued to climb since the introduction of the internet as a universal medium in the mid 00's. (source) And, like bullying has always done, those who are marginalized suffer the most. The suicide attempt rate among LGBTQ+ teenagers, for instance, is between 5-10%, which is upwards of 3 times higher than heterosexual students, much of it reportedly from social ostracization and aggression. (source) 

    Harassment is far from limited to students, and added to the potential for aggression is the tricks our own mind plays on us. FOMO is the term assigned to "Fear of Missing Out", and it's common when we're not completely connected to the things we're used to being connected to. It tends to steal our joy of the moment at times, with the little nagging voice telling us we're missing something, whether missing an obligation or missing something fun. (source) How many of us could truly handle going without our phones for a month? Would we lose our jobs? Would we lose our friends? The stress of being constantly connected can weigh on us. It weighs on our children just as much, especially when many of their relationships are supported and grown online and much of their schoolwork and learning comes from the online world as well.

    Just as much as the average teenager is likely to learn methods of doing a task online (a craft, skill, or hobby), they are likely to run into adverse situations with people who don't particularly like them. The only difference is the ubiquitous nature of the contact - you can't run away from a phone that has to be in your hand. As with conventional bullying, the only real way to combat it isn't top-down authoritarian control of access, it's to foster a positive sense of connection, confidence, and self-worth. A student, or any person, who has a grounded self-identity will be naturally more resistant to bullying and have a leg up on de-escalation and resilience.

    This was a heavy topic this week, but in layman's terms: get to know your children as people. They need you to show interest and care who they are, and they need you to support who they're becoming. It's the fastest route to making grounded, healthy adults. 

    We'll see you next week!